On the Brink of Giving Up

Not a day goes by that I do not think of you or talk to you. I am just tired of it all. The challenges are much too much. I do not believe that this is necessary for me to become stronger. At this rate, I am stronger than Samson. I have experienced enough heart breaking moments and witnessed the continual suffering of others. I too suffer. I help others, I put their needs and concerns above my own. I give all and get more challenges in return. I pray, I believe, I worship and still nothing.

Why are we created? Are we all a part of a big game? Are you getting a kick out of it? How do we proceed? What are we supposed to get out of this? Are we supposed to think that you are great and that you care? It looks like you are a big bully who does not care. We should all be afraid of you because we do not know if we are next on the punishing block. It's like living in a torture chamber - uncertain when the next event will occur. Laughter, happiness, joy all short lived while the hurt lasts much longer and are more frequent. It's been awful rough and I am losing faith in you............ I am really thinking about not thinking of you anymore. You have not showed up for me at all and things are just getting worse.

Promises, promises...............

As a child who waits patiently yet excitedly for her father to show up, I wait for you. I look forward to seeing you come through on the promises that you made in your holy word. I was taught that your word is true and that you never lie. I was also told that you said if I ask I shall receive, if I have faith I can do anything, and most importantly - you never lie. In your word - it states that you promise never to leave me nor forsake me - I don't feel your presence.

I am waiting for you to show up. I am waiting on you to answer my prayers. I am expecting my miracle and I am trusting you to deliver. I have faith - please keep your promise. As your child, I have waited patiently with great excitement and expectation for you to show up - I wait for you.